It’s spring time!!!
Although, I hear from my home state peeps that Michigan has decided to skip Spring this year and just continue on as if Winter should be forever. Sorry Michigan weather is drunk, I hope it knocks that crap off soon and you can join me in my Texas environment.
Look at me, already distracted. Sorry, I’ll start again.
IT’S SPRING TIME!
Longer days. Warmer weather. Birds buzzing. Flowers blooming. Allergies killing. Crazy people at the gym trying to undo the months of eating, drinking, and laziness.
I am not one of those people.
Sure, I’m crazy but I’m not the crazy person at the gym trying to get my body ready for summer. It’s never going to be ready for summer. Cheese exists and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I have a perfect example of crazy “summer bod” person. I asked a woman in my yoga class if she would slide her mat up just a bit to help make room for another person that was next to me. She told me, “I can a little bit but I was here first.”
DISTRACTION ALERT: You know the people who think of the best comeback to say after an argument. It’s replaying in their heads and they think of the snappy, sassy comeback that would have been the perfect thing to say but they think of it hours or even days later.
I’m not one of those people. It’s a blessing and a curse. Anyway…
Crazy already sweaty, definitely already snarky, lady comes at me with a “I was here first” response. All she was missing was the foot stomp to complete the temper tantrum. Before I could stop my loud obnoxious self, I threw out a quick, “hey, my three year old said the same thing this morning!”
Thankfully, she had the good sense and the grace NOT to respond because who knows what my mouth would have gotten out before my brain caught up.
Here’s the thing, I don’t feel so bad about it. Like, chill out lady. You’re at the YMCA.
With a bunch of seniors around you.
On a Tuesday morning.
Listen ya old bitty, I take this class too so I can say with confidence, it’s not that tough. I have successfully completed this class without hurting myself or anyone around me at least seven times so I know the athletic ability, or lack of ability, it takes. Which means, I can’t take you as a serious athlete. I refuse to believe you’re a true “yogi” with your complete lack of zen and harmony. I’m also quite certain that the founders of the YMCA wouldn’t find your old crotchity attitude very young or very Christian.
Maybe I’m being unfair. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she was hungry! Maybe if she would eat like she normally does, and not in “Summer Bod” prep mode then she would be nicer. And she’d get to eat cheese.
I’m not saying people shouldn’t try to be in good health. As long as it’s for getting healthy and not, getting summer body ready. I’m all about being healthy: physically, mentally, spiritually, Gorgonzola-ly. It’s all about balance.
But because I am embracing my millennial and placing my opinion as fact, here’s what I leave you with.
I will not support anything that has to do with “summer bod” life. Eat. Drink. Eat. Exercise. Be Merry. Eat. Practice moderation. Eat.
Eh, skip moderation. Moderation is for quitters. But the rest of it… Continue on!
Join me in eating, drinking, eating, and showing off my, I-love-cheese-and-my-children-have-crushed-my-care-level-and-self-consciousness-standards-bod, also known as the “it is what is” type bod.
I’ll be the one sporting a comfortable and functional bathing suit with my every season bod.
I’ll also be the crazy lady who brings cheese as a snack.
Because a cheese bod is the best bod.